Matchmaking Dating Sites Explained

How to find the perfect service for you…

The Best Matchmaking Dating Sites

eHarmony Logo

eHarmony

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Elite Singles

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Match.com

Finding the love you are looking for

We have all read the statistics that tell us how good love can be. When you have someone in your life that you love, and that loves you back, it can mean less stress and anxiety. Less trips to the doctor. Less substance abuse. Faster recovery when ill. And of course, a higher level of satisfaction with life. But in today’s busy worlds, many adults have put aside the process of finding someone to love. A fixation on work or other daily requirements can be extremely limiting and tiring. Many adults find the idea of dating and looking for a new relationship to be not only daunting but exhausting.

Few jobs (if any) provide adults with the time that they might need to get out during the day or at night to go meet new people. Plus, there is nothing wrong with being career-minded. But what if you want to focus on your career while having a loving special someone by your side that can share in your successes and support you through your failures, while you do the same for them?

We all know the importance of being strong and independent as human beings. Most of us are actually proud to carry these traits. Even the proudest and most independent of beings, however, can benefit from sharing their life with someone that they love. In fact, many of these same strong and independent individuals crave finding someone to love and to love them in return. Unfortunately, the fear of not finding that person can often sway someone away from taking the time, and taking a chance, of finding a true love.

With today’s fast-paced lifestyles, getting out and about and finding love in the traditional methods of the past, generally don’t work. Though it isn’t impossible to find someone at work, at church, at a bar, or by chance at the grocery store, these stories are becoming less of a reality. But what is working are online matchmakers and professional matchmakers.

What is matchmaking?

By its simplest definition, matchmaking is a process by which either a professional leverages a set of your unique characteristics and compares those to others to find potential matches based on interests, morals, and other important beliefs. When matchmaking is done online, a very similar process is used, but the online platform leverages an algorithm that inputs your interests and requirements and compares them against others to provide you recommended matches based on relevant and critical similarities.

Every culture leverages some sort of matchmaking. From countries where parents seek the best partner for their children to more modern approaches where friends look to connect like-minded friends with other friends, people love to help others make connections.

The role of the professional matchmaker

Matchmaking has become quite a business in modern times. Those who have made it their business, quite literally, to help others connect and find love take the time to get to know their clients at a very detailed level. These professional matchmakers look at values, emotional compatibility and availability, political and religious beliefs, and so much more to determine whether or not there could be a potential connection between two people.

But the role of matchmaker doesn’t necessarily end when an introduction is made. In many cases, these matchmakers serve as dating coaches, and even therapists or counselors so that individuals can be best prepared for their date, or can talk through how to approach dates differently in the future. In most cases, the role of matchmaker is not one that is simply one and done.

Couple having a date

Today’s professional matchmakers

When thinking of a matchmaker in today’s modern world, the brain naturally considers online matchmaking and the many online dating sites available. However, online matchmaking isn’t the only matchmaking solution available.

  • Agencies – There are a plethora of matchmaking agencies in business today who work with their clients directly to help them find the right person. Usually, there are different matchmaking service packages available.
  • Private matchmakers – These professional individuals have gotten into the business by perfecting their craft and working to make magical love connections without the help of a large team. In many cases, these matchmakers get matchmaking clients and the subsequent recommendations through word of mouth.
  • Celebrity matchmakers – These matchmakers tend to be prevalent on television and making public appearances. Their fees tend to be much higher due to the access that they have to what many would consider as high-end clientele. When working with these matchmakers, clients get access to impressive, high-cultured singles.
  • Online matchmakers – These sites are the ones that most people looking to start dating are familiar with. These sites cater specifically to those who are looking for casual relationships (and those sites specifically mention that they work to make casual connections) or those looking for a serious relationship. These sites use programmatic algorithms to help match singles based on values, emotional compatibility and availability, political and religious beliefs, and much more.

The costs to hire a professional matchmaker

If you are looking for a love match, hiring a matchmaker might be the right way to go. Online matchmaking sites will generally be the least expensive option, and prices vary across the board depending on the site that you choose to leverage. In many cases, customers looking for a love match will sign up for multiple platforms so that they can increase their chances. This may mean signing up for several monthly, or multi-month commitments. In most cases, the monthly rate for these sites can range from $25 to $100 or more, depending on the level of service that you are seeking.

For private professional matchmaking services, rates are going to be significantly higher. In most cases, this means signing up to be part of the matchmaking membership pool. A multi-month commitment is pretty standard and it is vital to note that you will not likely be matched immediately. It can take time for your matchmaker to get to know you and to screen through people that could be a good candidate for you to meet. You should expect to pay a fee of up to several hundred dollars per year just to be a part of the membership base.

In addition to being a part of the membership base, professional private matchmakers will offer a variety of packages depending on the level of service that you require. In many cases, matchmakers will charge an incremental fee beyond the membership fee, to spend additional time working to match you specifically.

As a rule of thumb, the more service you want, the more you will pay.

The private matchmaking process

If you have determined that private matchmaking is the path you want to take, it is important to understand the process.

  1. Consultation – In an online dating environment, an initial profile is constructed that includes information on your beliefs and interests. This information is then leveraged through a programmatic algorithm, which helps return potential matches. A very similar process is used with a private matchmaker, just without the same technological process. With a private matchmaker, you will be invited to come in for an in-person or telephone conversation that will serve much like an interview. The matchmaker will ask you a variety of questions about what is interesting to you, and what is important. For example, you may be asked about your desire to have children, your political affiliations, religious beliefs, employment status, your age and the preferred age range of a potential partner, and more.
  2. Pairing – Once the matchmaker gets a sense of who you are and your ideals, they will set to work in taking your interests and comparing them to others in their matchmaking pool.
  3. Setting up Dates – Once your matchmaker identifies some potential matches for you, they will get to work in helping you to schedule some dates. You will provide your availability and they will gather availability from potential dates on your behalf as well. They will then provide recommendations for you on where to go, and how to present yourself best. Your matchmaker will provide advice before the date, and will likely want to regroup with you within the days immediately following the date to see how things went and to determine next steps. If you want to see the person again, your matchmaker will reach out to your date to see if that feeling is mutual. If it is, you will likely be set up on another date, and will then be left to develop a relationship. If it is determined that the date was a miss, then your matchmaker will work with you to identify what needs to be done differently next time.

Do matchmaking services really work?

Many people have experienced skepticism on the likelihood of how well a matchmaking service can work. In reality, most professional matchmakers can claim a high success rate, with some going on record of indicating close to a 90% success rate. And, if you are looking into whether or not professional matchmaking is right for you, you can find many success stories highlighted on the web pages of these professional matchmaking websites. In many cases, you will be able to view video testimonials that speak to the experiences that former clients have.

In most cases, those who pursued the services from professional matchmaking services tout the experience as a positive one. Most of these people are career-minded individuals that have struggled to find the time to meet someone new, and have found these services to be a breath of fresh air. Matchmaking services help avoid the waste of time as well as the expense associated with date after date with someone that doesn’t share the same values or interests.

Though no matchmaker can guarantee that a relationship will last a lifetime, the majority of those that used matchmaking services feel that even short relationships that come out of the process were worth the money and emotional investment.

The important thing to keep in mind is that relationships are not a slam dunk. They require significant effort and time, and it can take time to find a potential match as well. The best situation comes from those who invest in a professional matchmaking situation but pursue online matchmaking sites on the side.

Online matchmaking as an alternative

According to Forbes, there are an estimated 8,000 dating sites online around the world. And these sites wouldn’t exist if people weren’t interested in signing up and exploring the services that these sites had to offer. Since 2014, new sites have popped up for all types of interests and the majority of online daters join multiple sites to increase their chances.

The average online dater will spend somewhere between $200 to $300 in online dating memberships. This amount is far less than what one might spend with an in-person professional matchmaker but will come with less of a guarantee. Further, with online dating, it is not uncommon to be going out on two or three first dates in a week, especially if interested in developing a long-term relationship. The more first dates, the more likely that you will find a potential connection where the relationship should be explored further. This said, these multiple first dates, especially with so many in a month, can be extremely expensive. With a real professional matchmaker, though the services might be more upfront, more time will be spent in identifying those potential first dates, so you will have fewer.

For those concerned about compatibility, it is important to understand that online matchmaking sites can only make suggested connections based on the information you share during the online assessment. Further, not all online daters are honest and authentic in what they share. And, they might not understand the significance of taking the time to answer any particular question honestly. For this reason, with online dating sites, it is not uncommon to go through several first dates before you can find someone who might be compatible.

If you elect to sign up for an online matchmaking site and are interested in developing a long-term relationship, take the time to think through the answers to your questions. You will be asked about your family, religious beliefs, education level, hobbies, and habits, etc. And, you will be asked some longer form questions that will provide you the opportunity to be honest and show some depth to your personality, along with your wit.

Here are some typical true or false questions that you might be asked to answer on an online dating site:

  • I find it easy to get emotionally close to people
  • Monogamy helps build both intimacy and trust in a romantic relationship
  • I find that people let me down if I depend on them

You will also be asked questions about how important something is to you, and you will use a Likert Scale to rank your answer from not at all important to very important. For example, you may be asked the following:

  • How important in a relationship is your partner’s dependability?
  • How important in a relationship is your sexual compatibility?
  • How important in a relationship is doing special things to let your partner know how important they are to you?

For open-ended questions, you might be asked:

  • What are you passionate about?
  • Please describe two or three things that you most enjoy doing in your leisure time.
  • What are three things that you are thankful for?

For those looking for a perfect match and a chance at a long-term relationship, it is important to be thoughtful and serious when answering the questions. The tests aren’t designed to be overly time-consuming and can often be completed in less than 30 minutes.

How to know if online matchmaking is right for you

If you are trying to decide the right type of matchmaking program for you, and you think that online matchmaking is it, consider the following. If you agree with the following points, it means that you might be a great candidate for online matchmaking.

  • You want to be in a serious and committed relationship
  • You are open to being connected with singles in other cities, states, or countries
  • You don’t have time to mingle in person, but can find the time to sift through potential matches on your computer
  • You appreciate the convenience of being able to scroll through the online site at any time of day or night
  • You are comfortable sharing personal information about yourself online
  • Your current approach to dating and meeting new people hasn’t been working

However, if any of the following points sound like you, then online dating might not be the solution.

  • You are more interested in a hook-up than a long-term relationship
  • You do not want to take the time to fill out an online profile
  • You are not computer savvy
  • You do not trust people that you meet on the internet
  • You are not sure what you are looking for or are not self-aware and honest
  • You don’t want to invest the money to find a compatible match

The rise of online matchmaking

Technology has made it easier than ever to make connections across the world. Before the technology and internet boom, relationships were formed through high school romances, in-office connections, at church, or through recommendations from friends. But since online matchmaking first got its start back in 1993 with the launch of Match.com, an estimated 50 million people have experimented with online dating.

However, over time and as technology has improved, so too have the algorithms and processes that these online sites leverage to make a match. Today, nearly 40% of couples can say that they met through an online dating site or related platform. And, it is believed that this number will continue to grow.

Though the reason you may choose to join an online dating site might be different from that of someone else, people are finding these sites to be highly successful. With the ability to select the type of person you want to be matched with based on the answers to some core sets of questions, more and more matches are taking place.

Matchmaking can create relationships for all ages

It’s never too late to fall in love. And, people sign up for matchmaking sites for a variety of reasons. Whether you are looking for your first serious relationship or are in the market and looking to find love again, most online sites can help with matches regardless of your age.

Your first online matchmaking experience

It’s not surprising or unusual to feel a bit nervous in addition to your excitement in getting started with the online matchmaking journey. These emotions are to be expected. However, despite those nerves, be sure to remain as level-headed as possible when creating your profile. The more complex the online matchmaking site, the more likely you are to be weeded out by not taking the time to think through the questions and your answers.

Be prepared to complete personality assessments and to write short essays about your likes and dislikes. You will be asked several multiple-choice questions along with true and false questions. And, you will be asked to provide a Likert Scale rating based on where your feelings best align with a certain sentiment.

Allow yourself the time to be thoughtful and to enjoy the experience that you are about to undertake. The more time and care you put into your responses, the better your matches will be, and the more likely that you will be able to set off on a new relationship and find love.