As much as the world is about equality these days, which we fully support, the reality is that men and women have different genetic and biological makeups that make them think and act differently. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, as it is completely natural and very scientific. What is not quite as scientific is trying to figure out if a girl is into you or not. While it is difficult to give you a blanket list of words, behaviors, and actions to look for, we have tried our best. When reading the below list, keep in mind that not all women are the same and sometimes the best course of action is just to ask her how she feels about you. The fear of rejection is very real and completely valid, but it could be very beneficial to your mental state to rip off the metaphorical Band-Aid and ask the pressing question. If that is less your style, hopefully the below information will give you a little insight into some possible scenarios you will encounter when dating, or at the very least, help you decipher some confusing behavior.
You can tell a lot about how someone is thinking by reading their body language. In fact, there is a whole area of psychology about body language. We will be discussing psychology today, but it is definitely worth a Google search. Okay, things to look for:
- Matching you: often referred to as the mirror effect, when someone mimics your body language, it usually means they are having a good time and are genuinely happy to be around you.
- Flirty behavior: If she is playing with her hair, or exposing what she feels are her best features, to you, she might be flirting. This actually is anthropological observation, as primates this is something, we sometimes do with a potential mate without even thinking about it. Arching her back to again, show different angles of her body, also falls into this category.
- Blushing: Making intense eye contact can be either really uncomfortable, or very sensual. Different females operate differently, but whether she holds eye contact or looks away shortly thereafter, if it is followed by rosy cheeks, there’s a good chance she is into you.
- Touching: Casual, innocent touching can indicate attraction. This could mean grabbing your hand, lightly brushing up against you as she walks by, or simply putting her hand on your shoulder in a moment of laughter. Typically, people do not like to touch others they are not attracted to, so this is probably a great sign.
Behavior When You’re Together
Behavior is such a broad term, but it is the biggest thing to look for in seeking a partner. The biggest indicators are:
- Listens: If she is hanging on everything you are saying, asking follow-up conversations and seems genuinely interested in a story about how you got a new razor that week and makes you feel like it was one of the best accomplishments of your life, she probably is starting to develop feelings for you.
- Makes you a priority: When you are attracted to someone, you do not mind putting certain things, and sometimes people on the back burner momentarily to spend more time with that person. If she is going out of her way to spend time with you, that’s a great sign.
- Stays close in a group: If you’re in a party or group setting and she is determined to stay by your side, there’s a reason: she probably likes you. She does not necessarily have to be engaged in conversation with you, but if she makes it a priority to stay close, there is a reason.
- Mentions her relationship status: Girls who want to be in a relationship with someone may constantly casually drop hints, like saying that they are single (and ready to mingle). There are probably two reasons for this type of behavior: 1) she is trying to gauge your interest when she says those things or 2) she wants to make it abundantly clear that she is not with anyone else.
- Puts her phone away: This kind of goes back to making you a priority and being a good listener. Making an effort to put the electronics away and give you her undivided attention means she is being respectful in order to have some quality time with you.
- Wary of other girls: A very common trait of women is to become hesitant, distant or even cold when other women are brought up. How does she react when you talk about an ex relationship? Do you notice a hint of jealousy when you talk about your female coworkers? She has no reason to act this way if she isn’t trying to be with you.
Next in line behind behavior, is her words. True, actions speak louder than words, but communication is also a great indicator in gauging someone’s interest.
- Flattery: Is she constantly complimenting you? Even more indicative of feelings, is she complimenting you on things that aren’t superficial or are things most people don’t point out to you? If so, it means she’s paying close attention.
- Quick texts: If she is quick to respond to your texts, again, she’s making you a priority.
- Emojis: Listen. If she is sending you any type of message that includes hearts, kissy faces, winks, or anything of the kind, she not only wants you to reciprocate, but she likes you.
- Initiates conversation: You don’t always have to be the one to start a conversation if she likes you, you can both share in the responsibility.
- Checks in: Calls or texts or stops by just to see how you are and talk about your day. You just do not do that to people you don’t care about.
- Social Media: Is she following you on a social media outlet? Is she following you on ALL social media outlets? Heads up, girls are excellent detectives, so if she has added you on social media, be prepared for some intensive stalking, which really you should interpret as more endearing than creepy. If he is interacting with you on social media, it is very likely that you have caught her attention. In fact, she might start posting things here and there to get your attention (and maybe ex-girlfriends of yours) and try to impress you.
- Teasing: Little girls used to be told all the time that boys pick on them because they like them. While, that is not considered healthy behavior and it is not something that should be normalized into adulthood, some innocent teasing probably indicates that she is comfortable with you and has a crush.
You may have been in a situation before where you are convinced a girl likes you, but then she starts doing confusing things like appearing disinterested. If you were sure up until this point that she was into you, take a look at the below behaviors; they might help clear up some confusion.
- Eyes dart away: We already covered this in the blushing bullet point, but it is worth mentioning again. The reality is that some girls are shy and some girls are more outgoing and their eye contact can be a telltale sign of which category they fall in to; so, just because she is not making intense eye contact with you, does not mean that she has written you off.
- Flirts with others: Girls and guys alike are guilty of this type of behavior. We flirt with other people in front of the person we are trying to impress in order to make them jealous. It really is a backward way of thinking and doing things, but we are human, and it is what we do. She’s likely checking out your reaction though, so try to keep it cool.
- Appears distant: Maybe she starts ignoring you from a distance because she wants to see if you will make a move. Maybe she is ignoring you because she is nervous you do not like her anymore.
I know, it’s A LOT of information to absorb. It also takes time to be cognizant of all these signs and pick up on social cues, but it does get easier. Be sure to always take more into account than these cues: is something out of the ordinary going on in her life, what is her true personality like? How does she act around other people?
As stated at the beginning of this article, it is important to remember that every female is different. Not all of the scenarios outlined here will apply to any one person. It can be confusing, but hopefully you can approach her with a little more confidence after having considered all of the above signs.