Your Guide to a First Date

First dates can make you feel an array of different emotions. Even though, you are looking forward to your date, you can also feel very excited, extremely nervous, worried, anxious, etc. A train of thoughts and questions are probably racing through your head- “What should I wear?”, “What should I say or talk about?”, “Will there be a second date?” All these emotions and feelings may even follow you, when you are actually on your date. Fortunately, you are not alone; and to give you a bit of peace of mind, chances are your date may be feeling the same way you are.

So, how do you keep the nervousness and anxiety under warps? How do you decide what you are going to wear? What will you talk about? When and how should you ask for a second date? Keep reading, as all of these questions and more will be addressed in this guide.

Below is an overview of tips that will help prepare and guide you through your first date:

  1. How to mentally prepare for your date and keep pre-date anxiety under control.
  2. How to get ready and choose the right attire for your date.
  3. What to talk about during your date and the importance of being a good listener.
  4. How and when you should ask for a second date.
  5. How to properly end a first date.

Once you are through reading this guide, you will be feeling better equipped to move forward with your first date!

How to Mentally Prepare Yourself for Your First Date and Keep Pre-Date Anxiety Under Control

Preparing mentally for a date entails a few things. It can help put in check any insecurities you feel about yourself; it can help set the mental mood for the date; and it can even start taming those pre-date anxiety feelings. For these reasons, it is important that you mentally prepare for your date. Wouldn’t it be great to start your date feeling mentally equipped? Here is how:

  1. Highlight your strengths and qualities: When we feel insecure about ourselves, we tend to reflect this. Underlining your strengths and qualities will help combat those insecure feelings, enabling us to bring the best of ourselves to our dates. So before your date, make note of all your best qualities, and remind yourself of them when these feelings arise.
  2. Exercise: You might be wondering why exercise is on this list, but it is actually very important to prepare you mentally for your date. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, the feel good chemicals that help relieve stress and enhances happiness. The release of endorphins will help you reduce the uneasiness of pre-date anxiety. Exercise will also help clear your mind and help you get in the right mood for your date. So before you go on your date, make sure to do your favorite exercise.
  3. Deep Breathing: Deep Breaths is another great way to help tame pre-date anxiety. There is a reason why many therapists suggest deep breathing as a way to help their patients relieve stress and anxiety. Deep breathing helps the body relax and feel calmer. Keep this in mind as soon as you start feeling nervous.
  4. Listen to Music: Music has a great impact on our moods. The right music can influence us to feel happy. Music can also influence the mood and tone we set for our date. If you listen to songs about infidelity prior to your date, it will probably not set the right mental state for your date. If however you choose uplifting or romantic music, it will probably help set a better mental state and make you look more forward to your date.

You owe it to yourself to prepare mentally for your date. You will feel much more prepared as doing so will have helped you address insecurities, set the right mental tone, and you have begun taming your pre-date anxiety. There is much to gain and little to lose in mental preparation.

How to Get Ready and Choose the Right Attire for Your Date

Getting ready, choosing the right attire, and hygiene are all very important when going out on a date. You want to make a good impression, and that is applicable to how you look and smell. Not showering or taking the time to pick a nice outfit may send the message that you do not have good hygiene practices or you just do not care at all about this date. This is not the message you want to send. Instead, you want to make a good impression with how you look and smell, and here is how:

  1. Hygiene: This might be a no brainer, but you want to make sure you shower and smell good for your date. Now, that does not mean over doing it with perfume and cologne as too much might make your date want to be at a distance from you. Just remember to keep it clean and use the perfume and cologne with moderation.
  2. Choosing the Right Date Attire: When choosing the right attire, you want to make sure that you are dressed appropriately for the activity or place that you agreed to meet your date at. This will help narrow down the right outfits to wear for your date. Once you have narrowed down a few outfits for the event that you will be meeting your date at, try them all on, and choose the one that makes you feel the most confident.

What to Talk About During Your Date and the Importance of Being a Good Listener

Many are aware that the conversations that take place during the date are just as important as the date itself. However, not many give thought to the importance of also being a good listener. Both conversation and being a good listener go hand in hand to make a date successful. Here is how to make the most of your conversations and tips on how to be a good listener:

What to talk about on a date

Dating is all about getting to know the person in front of you. Therefore, choose topics that will help you get to know your date better. Now, this is not to say that you want to interrogate your date, but simply compiling a list of questions that will help you know your date as a person, such as:

  • What are your favorite hobbies?
  • What is your favorite movie?
  • What is your favorite place to visit?
  • If you could visit any place, what would it be?
  • What is your favorite food?
  • What are your favorite places to eat?
  • What is your favorite music genre?
  • What is on your bucket list?

Again, the objective here is to get to know your date. This will help you determine whether or not you are a good match, and whether you want to proceed with a second date. So, keep the conversations about topics that will help you get to know your date better.

    Being a good listener

    When your date is talking, it is imperative that you pay attention to what they are saying. Looking at your phone and looking around the room, will send the message that you are not interested in what they have to say. To be a good listener you must:

    • Maintain eye contact. Make sure your eyes are not wandering elsewhere.
    • Ask questions or make clarifications about what they have said to show that you are interested.
    • To avoid interruptions, wait until your date is done speaking before you speak.

    All of these things will help you be a good listener. When you are a good listener and make clarifications or ask questions about what they are saying, it will not only make your date feel validated but it will also help keep the conversations flowing.

    How and When You Should Ask For a Second Date

    There is no written rule about when or how you should ask for a second date. If you feel like you both had a nice time and the chemistry was right, then you can go ahead and ask. It is preferred that you ask at the end of the date, to make sure that this first date ended well. If it did then you have green light to ask. You can simply say, “I really enjoyed eating out with you, would you like to eat out again sometime?” If this approach seems to straight forward, you can also ask in a less direct way such as, “Your favorite actor will be starring in a new film next week, would you like to go see this movie next week?” Whatever approach you chose to take, just make sure you ask after you are sure that this date ended well.

    How to Properly End a First Date

    You have made it through your date and it has now come to end. You still want to be watchful of how you end your date, because it has the ability to ruin the good evening that you both shared, or it can lead to a second date. To help you successfully end a date you have to keep in mind a few key points:

    • Courtesy: Good manners are very important when you are on a date that also includes ending a date with A Thank You. A simple, Thank You goes a long way; it shows your gratitude for your date spending time with you, or paying for the meal, movie, etc.
    • Affection: If there is a connection between the two of you, showing small affection, like a hug can also help cultivate the connection between the two of you. If you are not sure that there is a connection, you can always ask your date if you can give them a hug.

    Make sure you also let your date know, that you enjoyed your time together, as this ties into being courteous.  If you have determined that the date went well and you two are a good match, this will be a good time to introduce the idea of a second date.

    Final Thoughts

    Now that you have completed reading this guide, you are better prepared and equipped to go on your first date.  Remember to follow the steps outlined in this guide:

    • Mental preparation.
    • Getting ready and assuring good hygiene.
    • Getting to know your date should be the objective.
    • Be a good listener.
    • Ask for a second date at the end, after you have determined that the date ended well and there is a connection between the two of you.

    By following these steps, you will be able to effectively make it through your first date.